the downward spiral

I've been in love with Trent Reznor for more than a decade. At times it's full-out lusty obsession, and other times, it's a Holden Caulfield-type of love where I just want to save him. Lately, it has been more respect ... and a little lust, too, of course. I mean, yee!, have you seen him lately?

Mike Britton and I drove down to Tampa in his Crossfire to see Nine Inch Nails perform, and I purchased our tickets through the spiral -- the NIN fan club. Call me a geek, but our seats rocked! AND, we sat with other spiral people so no one was there just because they had nothing better to do or because they were looking for a place to vomit. (I'll get to that in a second.) They were real fans, and all of us even entered the building through a "VIP" entrance. So kick ass!

A few nights later, after Hurricane Wilma had passed us and cooled the city off significantly, Trent and his amazing band pulled in to the TD Waterhouse Crapper, and Mike, Brad, betamike and I had seats we barely used because we were on our feet the whole time.

What's the opposite of intimate? It's the O-rena. It's a nice arena -- especially for basketball and hockey, but for a concert, it feels very cold. I mean, where were the drapes??? Still, Trent does have a way of heating things up - and the show was incredible. His cinematic masterpieces played during "Eraser" and "Right Where It Belongs" were stunning, especially when you could see him behind the curtains -- it didn't even feel real because it was so perfect and beautiful. Well, except for the now-and-then waves of the disgusting scent of vomit and vo-ban. Why would you get so plastered before a concert that you actually get sick in the stands??

Ahhh! And I can't forget to mention how in awe I was both nights with the artist formerly known as Twiggy Ramirez. I love the way he plays bass. He's so fun to watch, and he's so sexy; I can't believe Jeordie White is the same person as Twiggy.

Trent, as you may know, lived in the beautiful Garden District of New Orleans for several years in a gorgeous house with lots of history. It was right around the corner from Anne Rice's house and not far from the streetcar line on St. Charles Avenue.

Because of his love for N'awlins,Trent has been very vocal and supportive in the relief effort after Hurricane Katrina. He appeared on the React Now benefit and has published articles on his Web site about the tragedy. I visited nin.com today, and Trent has taken it one step further. He has posted lots of photos taken around New Orleans. They are just heartbreaking, but I think they're also required viewing.

Trent also posted the message below. *exhale* It's a classic example of how I feel about this man. I love him in a way that I cannot love people I know. I realize this sounds odd and pre-pubescent, but it reminds me of the heart-wrenching crushes I used to get in school. There's a certain, very specific pain you get when you fall for someone from afar and you don't really know anything about the person except whatever it is that's attracting you. These men and women have no faults, and they are so high up there on the pedestal, that they are completely unreachable. Unable to knock them down, you just start knocking yourself down for being unworthy of a relationship that in reality is really unattainable. Because even if you wind up meeting this person and developing a relationship, that man or woman will never ever be able to live up to the dream you've created and spent so much time crafting all the perfect John Hughes moments you're going to spend together.

Where was I? In 1988, I think. Anyway, back to Trent. Here's the very emotional letter he published on his Web site. The man just "gets it." And I love him for that.

[10_29_2005]
What a couple of days...

We arrived in New Orleans Friday morning. A friend of mine at the mayor's office arranged for us to see the lower ninth ward that afternoon. I can't begin to express what I saw there. Utter, complete, incomprehensible devastation. Rob will soon be posting some photos, but you truly can not get a sense of how bad this is until you see it.

These people have lost everything. A large portion of the city is simply GONE. I realized I had been assuming things were getting "back to normal" here, but it will be a very long time before that happens - if ever.

200,000 people have been displaced, 7,000 are still unaccounted for. The mainstream media has begun to move on as the story takes a back seat to Bush's latest string of failures, but these people and this city need - and will continue to need - a lot of help. One of the reasons I felt it was important to attempt to have Voodoo IN New Orleans was to keep the spotlight on the city. To let people on the outside know this tragedy involves far more than turning the power back on.

I'm writing this riding on the bus to Memphis. The show in New Orleans went really well. Having Saul play with us was really great - I totally respect him as an artist and a person. The weather was perfect and the spirits of everyone involved were high. It was so nice to see so many faces from my past... and everyone really seemed to appreciate having something to take their minds off of what they're going through.

I spent some time with Mayor Ray Nagin and I'm very impressed with that man. Throughout the storm and consequences that followed, he struck me as one of the few people who wasn't bullshitting us and genuinely trying everything he could to remedy the situation. Today, he's providing determined leadership that's confident the city can be rebuilt - the right way.

I'm fading out now. Lots of emotions. I don't want to leave.

Here are Trent's photos. You can see many more at nin.com/current/neworleans/index.html